Sharing a Few Thoughts on How to Create a Good Self Image 

Posted by: "Craig Lock" clock@paradise.net.nz  Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:53 am (PDT)

SELF IMAGE


"I am not who I think I am
I am not who you think I am
I am who I think you think I am."

Got that...pretty difficult to grasp at first without a bit of thought!

One's self image is vitally important. Your self image largely determines your success, or lack of it in life. Definitely!

One's self image is the mental picture or snapshot we hold of ourselves: who and what we really are, whether competent, incompetent, worthy, bad, popular and so on. It is the sum total of all our hopes, beliefs and values = the REAL ME. It is connected closely to your self perception of yourself and by others; in other words, it's the way we think we're perceived by others.

The development of one's self image comes from your lifetime experiences: how your parents treated you and how well they praised and encouraged your early childhood efforts. If they demonstrated early love towards you, you are far more likely to like yourself. If you were emotionally starved or neglected as a baby, you are far more likely to have a lower opinion of yourself. Your parents later have a critical role in how you turn out too. NB: Please note that I'm not blaming my parents for the way I turned out!.

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It (self esteem - not me) then develops in the work environment as you gain skills and it is based on how you view your competence (or level of incompetence!). It is also greatly affected by how other people treat you: parents, friends, acquaintances, work colleagues, bosses and the world. Past successes, as well as failures in the work place have a great bearing on one's sense of self worth.

We all probably strive for the ideal image, like admiring the glamorous people in the cigarette ads. I suppose many people think about "who do we think we're supposed to be". Especially modern women with their confusion and conflict about their roles - career or kitchen? Or both? Modern life is not so easy and as clear-cut as in the good old days. No matter, as different human personalities we're all looking to get our complex and diverse individual needs met. And I

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believe we can if we really want to...

SELF WORTH:

This is very similar (but a teeny weeny bit different) to your self esteem. Self worth is a sense of how you feel about yourself. How valuable you feel you are to the world? How important am I to myself, not to others?
Focus on yourself and put your own needs first, before anyone else. Do what's right for me! Did you hear that, mothers?
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A poor self image is a self-fulfilling prophesy, which means that what you expect to happen to you, generally does. If you have a low opinion of yourself, you usually attract similar people ("losers"). Generally fate deals these people "a poor hand" with an unfortunate outcome. Bad luck seems to run in cycles for them. When things aren't going right for you, it never seems to stop. "It never rains, but it pours"... and it's very hard to break the cycle, get off the treadmill of misfortune. Most successful sportsmen, (and not only cyclists) are able to pull themselves out of a trough by changing and adopting a new attitude, no matter what "bad luck" has happened to them before. However, it takes "guts" to do it. I have heard it said that losers are just winners with a poor attitude. True, I believe! Once shown the way, they'll start "winning" too.

As befits all aspects of the human race (and especially the myriad of intrigue that is the human mind - nice words those), one's self image is a very fragile thing and it can be easily shattered. Mine shattered like bits of crystal... or Humpty Dumpty; but there were far too many pieces to pick up. It took years and years...and still I couldn't find all the pieces. Nevertheless, that experience taught me plenty and I can certainly empathise with those people whose self image has taken a battering. Don't worry: unlike Humpty Dumpty's shell, it can be put together again and built up far stronger than ever before.

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SELF ESTEEM:

The most direct and sensitive area of our being, I think, is probably our sense of SELF ESTEEM. This is the way we feel about ourselves. It is the sum total of the emotional, physical and spiritual values you place on yourself. It is closely related to our self image, i.e.. how we see ourselves.

Our sense of self esteem enables us to feel competent and worthy in coping with the challenges of life. As such, it is crucial to our sense of happiness. Low self esteem can very easily lead to unhappiness and depression. On the other hand, people with high self esteem feel comfortable with themselves; they usually enjoy life and enjoy themselves. Our score on the "self esteem scale" comes from the messages we're told when we grow up. A person who is often told that they are "no good" or "not attractive" is likely to have a low opinion of themself (which may be totally unjustified). I believe that nobody can unjustifiably condemn or ridicule another unless they "stand in their shoes" ...and that is impossible.

What other factors affect our self esteem?

* our health and fitness: how we treat ourselves: are we flabby, slim, trim (pork)? How do we see ourselves?
Do we see others seeing us in this way?

* our relationships: how well we interact with others.

* our careers or lifework: how well we achieve challenge, satisfaction and fulfilment from our careers or lifework.

* personal wealth: how well we manage our money to enrich our lives. How much money do we have in the bank, or in assets?

* a life crisis: how to overcome personal crisis though the process of healing and recovery.

* your spiritual self: If you have a great faith in THE ALMIGHTY, a GREATER BEING who will take care of you come what may, that God has a plan for your life, whatever the circumstances, you are more likely to feel comfortable in yourself...no matter what life throws at you.

We all have four basic needs:
a need...

1. to be noticed,

2. for acceptance (or a sense of belonging = affiliation).

3. for independence

and

4. to be loved; everyone needs some reassurance. This is a very strong emotional need.
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There are at least ten elements making up one's sense of self esteem. Or so I hear the psychologists say...but for goodness sake, don't ask me to name these elements. However, control and mastery of them is sure to boost your self esteem sky high.

1. self acceptance: "I look in the mirror and what do I see?" Avoid saying "I wish". Just DO IT.

A sense of high self esteem makes you feel more comfortable within yourself and more competent as a human being. As the famous American philosopher, R.W Emerson said: "individuality is ...being one's self and reporting accurately what we see and are."

To end off...
THINK ABOUT THIS

"To be nobody but myself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting".
Nice words that I love from ee cummings

To YOUR success, prosperity and happiness

Live, love and be happy.

Craig Lock (Eagle Productions Books)



About the author:
Craig has been studying the human mind for much of his life. He believes in sharing information and insights (with a "dash" of humour) to make a difference in this world: to help and especially encourage people along life's magical journey ... and that brings him the greatest joy.
http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/craig_lock.html
http://www.craiglockbooks.com

The various books that "Craig felt inspired to write" are available at:
http://www.myspace.com/writercraig
www.lulu.com/craiglock and
http://www2.webng.com/writernz/books.html

"Together, one mind at a time, let's see how many people we can impact, empower and encourage to reach their fullest potentials.